I just made one of the hardest decisions that I've ever had to make...
I decided to resign from teaching dancing after this, my eleventh, year.
After I spoke with Tanya this morning, the owner of Motion Express, I cried at my desk. And I mean c-r-i-e-d. It's been a long time since I've cried like that.
It hurts my heart to realize that after dancing for 24 years of my life, I'd ever have a reason to stop.
Hopefully this is just temporary and when our family gets a little older, I'll be able to go back. It's just too hard for me on Wednesdays to work all day, see Isaac for 15 minutes while I scarf down food to go teach dancing and be away from him for 4 more hours. By the time I get home at 9:30 pm, he's asleep and down for the night.
I've gone through so many scenarios in my head to try to make it work... and it just won't work right now.
What a sad day in my world. When I feel like this, everything seems to have a grayish tone to it. Although the gray could just be the tears that keep welling up in my eyes.
I know I'll calm down, but I don't know if I'll ever get over it. It took me 4 months to finally come to this decision.
I have about two months left in this school year. It's been a great year for me at the studio. My competition group has done very well and my teen classes that I teach with my little sister, Sara, are so much fun... At least I'm leaving on a good note.
Now if I could only remember to breathe today, I think I might start feeling better...
Comments (3)
Parents do not like to see their children be unhappy ... And maybe that is part of the reason you don't like to be gone so long on Wednesdays. Did you discuss this proposed change with Isaac and Bryan? Isaac will be older next fall. When he sees you tonight you will hear him tell you, "Don't be unhappy, Mommy!"
Posted by Dad | April 12, 2005 11:48 AM
Posted on April 12, 2005 11:48
I wish I had a tough decision to make about having two things in my life that brought me so much joy. I just wish I had one. I am not trying to say you don
Posted by Michael | April 12, 2005 11:57 AM
Posted on April 12, 2005 11:57
Yes. I have discussed this at length with both Bryan and Isaac. Isaac has come with me to dancing quite a few times. It's just too hard right now to drop him off at 8am, see him for 30-40 minutes at lunch, see him for 15-20 minutes at 5:15, and then see him sleeping when I get home at 9:30. That's basically 12-13 hours total away from him. It's too long.
Maybe it's a mom thing.
I know that Isaac would not want to see me unhappy. And it's not his fault, either, that I have to resign. It's my decision for my family.
I hope they'll take me back in a few years. : )
Posted by Caron | April 12, 2005 12:19 PM
Posted on April 12, 2005 12:19